Managing Naked!
Stripping down your management technique to bare emotions where kindness and compassion are your tools to successful leadership.
Who would have thought that “fear” and “intimidation” doesn’t actually motivate people to do their job long term? It certainly keeps them working inside the heavily marked lines with a bold psychological marker. However, it also creates fear of making a mistake which is a horrible way to do any job. How long do you think productivity can survive under the bright lamp of a dictatorship? Are you fostering any relationships as human beings and creating a culture of forgiveness? Is that important to you? It should be.
Fear is Good
Live long enough in Corporate America and you will experience a variety of really bad supervisors. I am no different. My corporate experience began under horrible management at the tender age of 20. While going to a local college I worked part-time for a major Credit Card Corporation. Basically all the supervisors at “Credit Services” were horrible. At least they had a pretty good reason as this was the credit card collection division and everyone was miserable. The collectors hated collecting and their management team created a culture of despising the customer because they were late on their credit card bill. It was a cesspool of anger and misery! “Fear is Good” was the management style!
Not all Paycheck’s Are Created Equal
“Well at least your getting a paycheck”.
You probably hear that every time you don’t like something about your job or a group of employees get together for a couple of drinks and all share the same issues with management.
“At least you have a job!”
The tag line above becomes your default mechanism to allow you to tolerate the next day of work and soothe your deep seeded resentment of how you are being treated. But you shouldn’t. There are many situations where you cannot quit your job because you are not happy. In fact, most of us are in that situation as we have families and rent or a mortgages to pay. But what you can do is file the negative experiences away and grow from it until you are able to move on from that job. If the day comes that you are in that position to lead a team or entire department, remember what bad management looks like! Take the bits and pieces from the good leaders you had and at the very least be kind. Show compassion. You may be surprised at the results.
Mistaken Identity
The biggest argument against being a compassionate leader with good listening skills is that you will be taken advantage of. Trust me, there are those employees who prey on a supervisor’s kindness and flexibility.
“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness”.
I had to learn this the hard way about “kindness versus weakness”. I was too kind and was overly concerned about making friends as a 30 year old first time supervisor leading a age-mixed team of Customer Care Associates. Oh I made some horrible mistakes when it came to treating employees too well. And guess what, they took advantage of me! Not only did they take advantage of me our results were dead last among other call center teams. I also had a Team Leader (assistant)that was undermining me and loved playing the popular version of “mini-me” without having to hand out performance appraisals or harsh constructive criticism. Like the “fun” Aunt or Uncle or the easy-going substitute teacher. The actual Parent or Teacher will always endure bouts of low popularity but over time it is the respect you cannot lose. I did and failed.
Fair and Balanced
You can not treat everyone exactly the same and you shouldn’t! Come again? That’s right, you should not treat everyone like a cookie cutout and give the same exact privileges or flexibility for every one of your employees. But you need to be Fair and there is a difference! For instance, I have a wide range of age differences between my employees (26 to 75). With the older employees there are many more Doctors Appointments than say the 26 year old. The 75 year old has appointments every week and either comes in a little late or leaves a little early. The 26 year old has no doctors appointments and uses their PTO time to take days off or 1/2 days. Once in a while, let the 26 year old leave a little early or come in a little late on a Monday so that they know you recognize that other employees do the same. That is the simplest of examples. The broader examples of being fair are “big picture” type scenarios. The 26 year old is looking to advance their career where the 75 year old wants to work toward retirement. You may not want to give extra projects to the 75 year old but show you are interested in advancing the 26 year old by involving them in projects that will promote them. Once in a while utilize the 75 year old to mentor to the 26 year old regarding their experiences in the work place and allow them to lean on each other for advice and assistance. Both will appreciate that you are aware of their spot in life and will do their very best to achieve and exceed the goals you present to them. As an added bonus both age groups feel needed and know they are important to their company and more specifically to their Supervisor.
you should not treat everyone like a cookie cutout and give the same exact privileges or flexibility for every one of your employees. But you need to be Fair and there is a difference!
We all have outside family issues (sick relative of spouse) and from time to time they can be very difficult to balance work and life to where it becomes unbalanced. Needing more time to devote to home and not able to work late or arrive early to assist with peak times becomes a short-term issue. This situation that arises may require you to be extremely flexible with an employee’s attendance where they need to leave early or come in late more frequently than normal. Allow this to occur especially with an employee who has a track record of excellent attendance and work ethic. This will show the other employees that you trust them to do the right thing and that once their situation resolves itself and the employee is back to their regular work habits, you cared enough to work with them in their tremendous time of need. 9 out of 10 times the employee will now run through a brick wall for you when you need them in a crisis or to achieve a short-term goal. Of course you always have to monitor whether a person is telling the truth or not and really has a family situation to attend to? I trust first and give enough rope for a person to harm themselves later on. Once I find out they have lied then the rope gets tighter, privileges are suspended and we have a counseling issue. Depending upon the lie there could be severe disciplinary action.
Details Matter
Other than the obvious, like someone’s birthday of work anniversary remembering details about an employee can make all the difference in their devotion to their job and your leadership. Paying attention to the smallest of detail especially when it can improve ones work life is invaluable. This shows to them that you care and that you are paying attention and they matter.
You have several conversations throughout the day with employees and in my case, I have eight that report to me and are all in the same building. Outside the Pandemic of 2020 everyone worked within a small proximity from my desk. Employees express frustrations about their job in small ways and sometimes in big ways but those are the issues that are obvious because they want you to hear them. Pay attention to the small details. For example, hearing that a bigger computer monitor or the glare on their screen is too bright is an opportunity for you to make a difference in their work day. Order a glare screen cover or have your IT department install a larger monitor. When it arrives or the IT person is there to replace the monitor you will see the delight on their face. In their eyes they see that you care and something that bothered them for a long time is now fixed. I have always believed and thankfully the company I work for now agrees that anything that is needed to perform your job should never be a problem. Yes, budget is always on the mind of every company and you would have to purchase items accordingly. For a few dollars and a happy employee builds a strong relationship.
Mood Swings
Taking the temperature on everyone’s mood everyday is a dangerous game to play. We all have outside influences and troubles with finances, family, bills etc. If you try and be a palm reader for every employee’s state of mind by judging their facial expressions or body language you are possibly catering to an employees every “ache and pain” both physically and figuratively. Opening up a daily ritual of asking; “is everything alright today”?, is a no win situation. A general “Good Morning to Everyone” and “how is Everyone” is the perfect greeting and keeps you away from personal situations that are not related to work. Most instances their facial expression or “bad mood” has nothing to do with their job and unless they come to you and offer personal details, don’t ask. Now, if they are throwing up in the garbage pale next to them than you need to address that issue immediately. Sounds as if you don’t care but that is not the case. Having multiple employees is a blessing and a challenge. There will be days that perhaps 4 to 5 associates need your personal attention on a given day. However, you need to weed through the true issues versus the hijacking of your time because it is their ritual each day for them to tell you all that happened to them the night before.
It is not personal it is just business.
Remember, your time is valuable too and you need to create the balance so that you can supervise and run your department efficiently. Also remember that you have a boss too and he/she needs your attention and focus. You can achieve both with care and concern.
Consistency Counts
Nobody responds well to a supervisor who is inconsistent in both there management style and personality. High-strung overly vociferous leaders may do well initially because they scare the daylights out of their employees but long-term you are still dealing with human beings.
Eventually your employees will stop listening to your message.
The result of over managing and inconsistency leads to high turnover and what do you accomplish by burning out your workforce? Those that remain are stressed-out and perform with low energy leading to limited productivity. Who wants to work in that type of office?
Having a steady hand where your employees know what to expect from you each day and allowing them to do their job without hovering over them makes for a happier unit.
When you need to address things you are direct and non-confrontational. My staff knows that I will be upfront with anything they need to know and they feel comfortable coming forward with any issues that arise.
Baseball manager Billy Martin who managed several different teams including the New York Yankees five times, would be great short-term leader as he embodied a World Series pedigree both as a player and manager. He would go in as a strong leader with a clear message and end up imploding due to stress and alcohol. His message was mixed at best toward the end of any tenure and eventually the players became divided as they stopped believing his message.
There was no consistency.
Billy was known to be involved in fights with his own players. Here he pulls outfielder Reggie Jackson out of game on National Television in Boston because he felt Reggie wasn’t hustling after a fly ball. By embarrassing his player Billy caused a divide with himself and Reggie and eventually within the locker room. Billy was fired shortly after that incident.
Mistakes Happen
I never met a mistake that couldn’t be fixed. Be upfront and the sun will come up tomorrow!
Do not be one of those managers who view all mistakes as the end of the world and the collapse of the human race. Yes, some mistakes can be larger than others and in some cases can cost a company a sum of money.
Create a culture that allows employees not to fear to make a mistake and they will make less of them. That’s right. No fear little or no mistakes!
Sharing is Caring
Allow ideas to be shared-hear them out before you comment.
When you have a group of employees from varied backgrounds and an age span from 26 to 75, there is opportunity to learn and grow as a leader. Welcome the opportunity for associates to share their knowledge from past occupations or life experiences to assist in solving work problems. Listen completely and make sure they know you are engaged in their story. I love the ideas that I know are great as soon as I hear them!
Give immediate feedback and set a timetable of when you will let them know it will be implemented.
Other ideas you may want to sit on for at least 24 hours. I found that allowing a space of time between reactions is valuable. If you are not sure about an idea or solution that an employee has proposed, give it time to grow in your heart and your mind. You may have your own ideas to add or mold your employees thoughts into another idea that best fits the situation. Rather than an initial “No” it becomes a “Yes” with additional collaborative thoughts.
Avoid a Long Nuclear Winter
Connections with your employees are important. Do not let a long nuclear winter pass before you check in
Having nine employees report to me with some at an alternate location, can be challenging. Although I stressed earlier that you should not “check the temperature” of each employee’s mood each day, do not leave communication out entirely. You have employees that are self-sufficient and do not require much managing. However this does not mean they they do not have to be attended to as they could have questions or suggestions that they are not revealing.
Some employees keep their ideas and problems to themselves so not to “Rock the Boat” or want to be deemed as a “problem” to their Supervisor.
This is just their nature or how they feel they were raised by their parents and view being silent as a sign of respect to authority. Although very noble it also not fair to them. You need to identify this type of employee and makes sure you give them one-on-one time and make them feel comfortable to share their thoughts and raise any issues they seem as a problem. Normally this type of employee will deflect off themselves and want to talk about how they can improve the department for everyone to succeed. A quiet employee make the best observers and tapping into their ideas is usually a home run!
Show some Skin. You have plenty of it!
Reveal your human side. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings
Have you every heard the expression “Buttoned-Up”? We have all been around this type of manager where they are perfectly dressed and hair is parted or curled at exactly the right length or style. Brief case or pocket book is held at the right position everyday with the slightest of swaying back and forth but not too much swing…just enough. The person sits down at their computer, no “hello” or “good-morning”, and all you hear for 7.5 hours is the clicking of buttons from the key board. Communication strictly through e-mail and only responds and questions in the same manner.
We are not robots so revealing your epidermis (human side) makes you relatable to your employees. “Buttoned-up” refers to an out-dated style of managing where a Supervisor was supposed to behave. Uncaring, non-sharing, almost similar to a mannequin and to the point that you were never sure if this person even has a pulse? It is enough to drive a person mad!
“Strictly business” makes the day longer and the importance of your employee’s job less appealing which equals minimal productivity.
Allowing individuals to be just that, individuals” and embracing the differences in each employee breeds a motivated culture.
With my group of employees I have someone who is a writer (Published in Readers Digest) another that worked for the Record Plant in NYC with Artists like the late John Lennon, one that is a World Wide philanthropist who wrote two books and others that worked in retail, someone owned a cab company and a few that worked in doctors offices and the food industry. A wonderful mix of personalities and varied backgrounds which creates an atmosphere of creativity along with book smarts. You do not want everyone on your team with a business degree and with similar work experience. When you enjoy a big bowl of salad you want a variety of colors and textures a great dressing to bring it all together and enhance the flavors. You, as the the Supervisor are the dressing and the mixing spoon!
Leading a group of people is not always being the center of attention. You need to sharpen your listening skills and know when to be heard at the appropriate time.
Support Group
In order to express your creative managerial style you need a strong support system. Your “naked” technique is only as good as your boss is willing to allow you to do. Then your bosses boss has to be in agreement. Sounds easy but it is not. My 20 year old self had no choices as far as building my career and subscribing to the management style they set forth.
You have to build your house before your can pick your favorite room.
I remember being light years ahead of my vision of how a Supervisor should behave and manage people while working for a Fortune 500 Insurance Company in the late 1990's. Trying to drop little parts of my “naked” philosophy among bully-type Managers as a 30 year old Supervisor was difficult. It ultimately failed as I was surrounded by vultures who preyed on my vulnerable less-confident self. Ultimately I had to cave to their bombastic form of managing people which never sat well with me. The minute I tried to implement their toxic techniques I choked. However, I knew someday that somehow I would be able to express my full-self and I would partner with the right people to foster the “naked” style. Ultimately I needed to change and rely on my spiritual strength to let my voice be heard without fear. This would attract the right people and situation.
Rock Bottom
Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying!
My spiritual Rock Bottom came from being sick and tired of being Spiritually sick and tired. I hated the world and lost sight of the important things that God had given me. All my relationships in my life were mediocre at best all do to my own perception of what I thought the Universe was doing to me! Unhappy and selfish, my career had stalled and I hated going to work. My finances were in a vice grip ready to explode and I felt as if I had a noose around my neck ready to choke. I visualized myself as not being intelligent enough, good looking enough, financially wealthy or even close to breaking even. I perceived that I was failing at being a good Father to my daughter and a good husband to my wife. The ironic part was that I was failing at all those things and people didn’t like being around me.
All my relationships in my life were mediocre at best all do to my own perception of what I thought the Universe was doing to me!
Appetite for Destruction
You do not have to listen to the Guns and Roses album “Appetite for Destruction”, for long to know that it is a cry for help. Great record and one that I listened to in the 1990’s as one of my favorites but clearly it exhibited some anger issues. However, the title more than adequately described the mode I had fallen into after my trip to Rock Bottom Island. Approaching 40 years old and hating it, I decided to get into the best shape of my life no matter what. Starving myself, working out endlessly were the basis of meeting my goal. The world would love me if I had the perfect body, right? Well you need to live through it in order for anything to occur.
As you could imagine my focus was on the wrong things and “vanity” was clearly at the top of my list. Because my thought process was that only the outer part of my body being perfect would make me happy and draw attention? Twice I was injured severely and had to be taken to the hospital, once when lifting weights and pinching a nerve in my back and another time was when I was riding a bike for exercise and I hit a wire while crossing the street and hit the pavement with my face and almost died. These were all warning signs that I was on a destructive path and my time was running out.
My belief system was broken and my spirit was blocked. Thankfully I didn’t turn to drugs to numb the pain but did use alcohol as an escape. I didn’t gamble what little money I had and kept my house in tact so we still kept a roof over our heads albeit barely making the mortgage payments on my salary.
Blinded by the Light
Walking in the Valley of Darkness is lonely and scary and I never saw a way out of my misery. You hear all the time that others describe it as a moment or a day or a time when a “light” shines upon you and everything changes. I didn’t believe it and at times I was searching for that actual light to shine on me rather than the spiritual one that struck me. And it was blinding. For me it was turning back to my Religion and returning to Church. I figured I had nothing to lose and perhaps I could bestow my burdens upon God and I would get the salvation I needed.
That day changed everything, August 24th 2014 to be exact.
After having an argument with my wife about not following through on about the millionth thing in my life I was exhausted. I spiritually collapsed and said to myself;
“I can’t Do this anymore!”
How is my spiritual path important to the style of Management called “naked”? Everything. There is no way I could put forth this style of managing if I wasn’t humbled and brought to my knees. When I mentioned early on that I had tried to introduce this type of managing in a company of vultures, the timing just wasn’t right and I was to young to stand up for myself. My journey hadn’t unfolded yet and it took this road to allow it all to happen. I needed to change myself in order for those around me to respond in a positive manner. So, I started with a few basic principals;
Be Kind…..
Be Thoughtful…….
Be Present…….
It doesn’t take much time to be kind, thoughtful and present. You may have thirty other thoughts running through your brain but it takes seconds to ruin an employees confidence in you. Once an employee thinks you are not listening and in turn you are short or rude with your response to them, the nuclear power plant begins to implode, then overheat, and eventually shut down for good. Why would you want to alienate your most important asset? The employees are the cog in the wheel that are making the machine run at a high level. Your results rest squarely on their shoulders and you can not run any business without them. You need to be living the way you want others to interact with you. If you are mean you will receive the same back. Show your human self. Production will come and loyalty will be forever.
There is nothing wrong with your employee knowing that you, their boss, is having a bad day. The way you convey that bad day makes all the difference. Are you yelling and screaming at them and everyone around you? Or can you take a moment to let them know you are stressed and you apologize if it comes across as any other way but kind? This admission makes you human and takes the guess work away from your employees mind that perhaps your altered mood is about something they did wrong? There have been employees that have left their company because they thought their boss didn’t like them or didn’t value them. An employees work is directly attached to their pride and self esteem. Most people want to do a good job and feel as though they are contributing to the company’s success. And of course they want to know that their Boss respects them and likes them. Yes. That’s correct. We want to be liked too!
‘Fire’ and Ice
You will always have problem employees. In my career I have had to dismiss five employees. Not bad for 25 years in corporate life. Letting someone go is always a difficult thing to do but certainly necessary. Two of the five were instantaneous as they involved physical violence and one employee was caught stealing money. The other three were performance based and took a long time. I try to give an employee as much rope as possible before they fire themselves and leave me no choice. Also, it sends a message to the rest of the department that there are standards and guidelines and that doing your job well as a professional person is paramount.
Mirror Mirror
Your management style says a lot about you. This is a direct reflection of how you want to be treated or the permission you give to others on how they treat you. You will always have that Supervisor to employee line of respect in which your direct report has to treat you in a professional manner. However, in general,
Are you nice?
Are you respectful?
Do you listen?
Do you care?
The human experience is fascinating to me. Instinctively I am an inquisitive person who likes to ask a lot of questions. Not to be nosey necessarily but because I am interested in the lives of all people.
Where they came from.
What there past work experience was like.
Their interactions with interesting people.
Past occupations
After all I studied Journalism in college and will forever be that beat-writer reporter deep down inside. For me, a lot of questions is normal. Sometimes I have to temper my enthusiasm so the person I am speaking with doesn’t call the police for being strange. If I feel the person I am speaking with is willing to open up then I am happy to ask away! I like to get the total picture of my employees if they are willing to share. This helps me to develop a profile of their strengths and the type of work they either like to do and are willing to do. Yes, they are getting paid to do a job so no matter what the job is they should have to do it, right? Not necessarily. In the context of the job they were hired to do wouldn’t it be great if you tried on a bunch different shoes and hats to fit the one that excited them? The shoe that fits great and looks great too? The hat that matches the shoes? I think so. You will get a lot more productivity out of an employee if they are;
Happy
Challenged
Making an impactful contribution
Piano Keys
Managing a large group with some associates working remotely from your department can be compared to piano keys. Each key represents an employee. Obviously when you play the piano you cannot touch all the keys at the same time nor do you want to otherwise a song doesn’t flow. With managing people you need to be in touch with each person as often as possible without over playing the piano. You will know instinctively when some keys need to be played loudly or softly. Some employees need more direction than others (especially new associates). Other employees need a nudge while others need a figurative push. Touch (check-in) on all the keys at some time or another and create harmony that plays itself after you have put the hard work in the beginning. Songs (like people) will never be perfect but what you are striving for is a creative and fun but focused team of employees that will be loyal and honest. Do not be afraid to show your skin, your human side. Employees respond to you when they know you are coming from a place of genuine concern and that you are not afraid to show your flaws.
