A Witness to Heaven
For a brief couple of minutes I stood in the beautiful landscape of heaven.
For a brief few minutes I was a witness to heaven. This probably happened about 10 years ago and I rarely speak about it. Not because it wasn’t the most precious few minutes of my life but the fact that I could not wrap my brain around the whole experience.
There was no dramatic health event or accident that precipitated this wonderful experience. Although I do not know for sure. I believe I was sleeping when it happened so no one would have known (even my wife) unless I gasped for air or moaned in pain. The only thing I can tell you is that when it occurred I knew I was in heaven. I said the words;
“I’m in Heaven”.
There are many life experiences that lead to this moment that I never sat down and put together as part of the puzzle. Maybe they are related or maybe they are not. I am not really sure. Born in 1967 my Mother had a difficult pregnancy and was on bed-rest for the entire 7 months. As predicted I was early by 2 1/2 months and premature at about 3 pounds.
Prior to the 1970s most babies born more than three months premature died as they lacked the ability to breathe on their own for more than a short time. Reliable mechanical ventilators for these infants did not exist. Although ventilators had been a staple of adult intensive care units for several years, the technology necessary for the physiologically different neonate did not become available and effective until the 1970s.
Stories from my parents (now both deceased) explained to me that I was in an incubator for 2 months for breathing assistance and because my lungs were fully developed this gave me the best chance of survival. A baby’s lower lungs and airways are only just beginning to develop around 24 weeks. A baby born at this time will need help to breathe. This might mean little tubes going into their nose, as they grow in the incubator.
At about 24 weeks in the womb, a baby’s eyes are still closed. Their eyelids and eyes are not yet developed enough to open them. Your baby will need to have soft cotton or gauze taped over their eyes to protect them from the light as their sight continues to develop.
In some cases, a baby’s eyes might not grow as they should, which could lead to vision problems or even blindness. My Mother told me that a baby that was in an incubator next to me with a similar premature issue went blind. I was truly lucky but I know it was the hand of God that brought me into life with his grace and purpose.
My Mother lost twin boys (Peter and Paul) prior to my oldest Sister being born in 1963. One lived for a day and the other was still born. I have no doubt that my birth would not have occurred had they survived. God has a purpose for me and I feel that loving responsibility.
Priesthood Calling
I remember as a child having a deep pull to become a priest. I am not sure if this was something that lead to my witness to heaven or my later resurgence back to my religion that I had abandoned for a number of years. God was always and still is close to me and I feel him communicate through me. There was also a pull for me to be a Pediatrician as I wanted to birth babies and experience the miracle of life as it unfolded. This could have come from the fact that I lost my Twin brothers and knew of the anguish my parents felt even as I was the third child born. I fell to the pressure of wanting to live a “normal” life and having a “normal” job for reasons to not go into the priesthood which I certainly do not regret as it has led to wonderful things in my life, my wife and my daughter. I just remember not feeling comfortable to pursue being a priest for fear that I would be labeled as “different” or “weird”. I am not sure why I did not pursue being a Pediatrician but it could be related to the fact that I did not apply myself hard enough in the early years of school and by the time I reached high school I was a mediocre student more interested in girls and baseball. Math and Science were my weakest subjects so you know right there that being a physician of any kind was not to be. In the end God had a plan for me.
Scandal
The Priest scandal regarding sexual misconduct with hundreds of priests was my excuse to distance myself from my Catholic religion. I was raised going to church every Sunday and was fully aware of the Devil’s slithering ways of creeping into your life. For about a 10 year period I stopped going to church and labeled myself as “spiritual”. Each time my Father would try and bring up bible verses and referencing stories from the good book I quickly shot him down. I didn’t realize that my relationship with God had nothing to do with the Priest scandal. Me not going to church didn’t absolve or condemn those who sinned against God and hurt all those children. My job was not to be the equalizer or judge of these men but to keep my relationship strong with God and pray for the victims and their perpetrators. The notion that a priest was supposed to be holy did not negate the fact that each person of the clergy is human. As humans we are flawed and can be tempted by the devil like every average person living on this earth.
Now Back to God
There was a spiritual low point in my life in my early 40’s that brought me to my knees and woke me up to the calling of God. I was miserable as a person and was angry and jealous. All the things that God warns us about and the trappings of humankind lusting after money and material things and chasing greed. False prophets and Idols that push us farther away from the unconditional love that God provides us. The minute I surrendered to God and asked him to guide my life as he sees fit, my whole world changed. My relationships with my Wife and Daughter improved dramatically and my financial situation (which was engulfed in debt and misery) slowly got better to point of being free of the chains of being delinquent and the threat of being sued. The joy of thankfulness of all the beautiful things that God put in my life became vivid. The burden of being “me” which I thought was so difficult lifted off my shoulders and into God’s hands.
Presence of Heaven
Somewhere deep into my consciousness I was transported to a beautiful grassy field with the late afternoon sun beaming down on a group of weeping willows. Four trees to be exact. I felt as if it was a place I had always known and was unburdened and felt safe. The freedom of two sheep dogs, one following the other, ran along side the vividly green willows as the golden sun beamed through the few open spots in the trees to illuminate the two dog’s shaggy white and gray coats.
When I stood there taking in the beauty of the flowing sheep-like hair blowing in the late afternoon breeze, I knew instinctively that this was Heaven. There was no debate and there was no doubt. God was giving me a glimpse into what is to be. This was not a dream-state nor did I have the feeling I was dreaming. The connection to God has always been strong and I believe he was giving me a message that I did not adhere to until many years later. He wanted me to trust him.
Coming back to my religion has opened a whole new communication with God. I am thankful more often, listen more intently, smile as often as possible and care about each person I encounter. There is no perfection in human beings and I am flawed like everyone else. My ego is smaller and I fear life less and try to live it each moment. Vanity is to a minimum so I do not try and kill myself to be the perfect anything. You may as well chase your tale to try and match yourself against what you see as a “perfect body”. My relationship with food is different. I care about what I eat but I do not beat myself up if I have a cookie or a doughnut. The bible talks about nourishing your body as your relationship with food;
1 Corinthians 10:31
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
Matthew 6:25
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
My few minutes in Heaven has given me comfort. This comfort took several years to grasp but it has given me a renewed relationship with God and our savior Jesus Christ. Our life (the good and the bad) is precious and there is another world waiting for us in glory and we need to prepare ourselves now for what is coming. God only asks to do your best as he knows we are not perfect. We need to ask him every morning to bring us to the person he wants us to be and to be thankful at every turn. Mother Theresa had a greeting she said every morning to start her day;
“Good Morning Jesus”.
Not a bad start!
